Do This First
In the immediate aftermath
You may be in shock. That's okay. Just do these three things.
- Get yourself to a safe space. A bathroom, your car, anywhere away from the situation. Your safety comes first.
- Write down what happened while it's fresh. Date, time, location, exactly what was said or done, who else was nearby.
- Do not delete anything. Emails, texts, messages — no matter how much you want to. They may be your most important evidence later.
Remember: have EVERYTHING IN WRITING as much as possible. If a conversation happens verbally, follow up with an email that summarizes what was said. A paper trail is your protection.
- Tell only one trusted person for now — and write down their name, when you told them, and what you said.
- Whatever you're feeling right now — shock, shame, rage — none of this is your fault.
For every interaction with the harasser and any witnesses, describe in as much detail as possible: their exact words, facial expression, body language, what you did, how you felt. The more specific your account, the stronger your case.
Critical
Gathering your evidence
You don't have to decide what to do yet. Right now, just collect. Evidence gives you options later.
- Forward all relevant emails to your personal email immediately. For any internal complaint emails, always screenshot or forward right away — do not assume they'll still be there later.
- Keep an incident log: date / time / location / what was said or done / witness names.
- Find and save your company's harassment or discrimination policy.
- Save positive performance reviews — they prove the problem is not your work.
- Keep medical records if you've seen a doctor or therapist due to stress.
Can I record conversations in my state?
Your Evidence Tracker
Incident Log
Evidence Checklist
- All relevant emails forwarded to personal email
- Internal complaint emails screenshotted or forwarded immediately
- Text/chat screenshots saved to personal device
- Incident log started
- Company harassment policy saved
- Positive performance reviews saved
- Medical/therapy records saved (if applicable)
- Witness names noted
- Trusted person I confided in — name and date recorded
Stay Alert
After you report — you will be watched
Once you report to your boss or HR, know this: you will be watched, targeted, and closely scrutinized. Do not give them anything to use against you.
- Be on time. Do not leave early. Do not take extra breaks.
- Document your work output. Your performance record matters more than ever.
- Stay professional in every interaction — especially with the harasser and HR.
- Do not discuss your case with coworkers. You cannot know who is on your side.
Is this retaliation?
In the U.S., retaliation is often a stronger legal claim than the original harassment — and can result in significantly higher damages. Check any that apply since you reported.
If even one applies: document it immediately with date, time, and specifics. Retaliation is a separate legal violation — you can file even if the original case is difficult to prove.
Sudden micromanagement
A supervisor who never watched you closely is now tracking your every move.
A supervisor who never watched you closely is now tracking your every move.
The cold shoulder
Excluded from meetings or removed from email chains you were previously included in.
Excluded from meetings or removed from email chains you were previously included in.
Sudden negative evaluation
Your work hasn't changed, but you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) or received an unexpectedly poor review.
Your work hasn't changed, but you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) or received an unexpectedly poor review.
Schedule or assignment change
Moved to shifts, locations, or tasks that are harder or specifically inconvenient for you.
Moved to shifts, locations, or tasks that are harder or specifically inconvenient for you.
Hostile environment
After you reported, colleagues began avoiding you or treating you differently.
After you reported, colleagues began avoiding you or treating you differently.
Demotion or pay cut
Your title, responsibilities, or compensation has been reduced since you reported.
Your title, responsibilities, or compensation has been reduced since you reported.
Termination
Fired, laid off, or forced to resign shortly after reporting. This is the most actionable form of retaliation.
Fired, laid off, or forced to resign shortly after reporting. This is the most actionable form of retaliation.
Retaliation is illegal under Title VII and most state laws. Document everything with dates and specifics. This can become your strongest claim.
One last internal step
Before EEOC — go to the top
If your harasser IS HR or a senior manager, skip this entirely and go straight to EEOC.
- Find the head of the organization. Request a meeting. A secretary may block you — send an email anyway.
- State clearly: what happened, what was reported, that no action was taken. Keep it factual. Let the facts speak.
- Most organizations will offer a transfer or resolution to avoid litigation.
- Always by email. Never only by phone or in person. You need a timestamp.
Internal Reporting Checklist
- Reported to HR or manager above harasser — in writing
- Documented company's response (or lack of)
- Escalated to organization head if no action taken
- Noted any retaliation after reporting
- Set personal deadline — if no action by [date], file with EEOC
Deadline Critical
Filing with the EEOC
In most states: 300 days from the date of the incident. In states without a Fair Employment Agency: 180 days. The clock starts the day it happened.
What to prepare
- Your full name, address, phone, email
- Employer name, address, number of employees
- Your job title and dates of employment
- Date(s) the harassment or discrimination occurred
- Description of what happened
- Type: sex, race, age, disability, pregnancy, religion, national origin, retaliation
- Names of witnesses
- Copies of relevant documents
Under 15 employees? Federal law may not apply — but your state law likely does. Many states cover employers with as few as 1–4 employees. Go to your state agency (tab 5) and consult an attorney.
Questions to ask the EEOC intake officer
- What is my exact filing deadline based on my state?
- Does my employer meet the size requirement for federal coverage?
- Should I also file with my state agency simultaneously?
- What happens after I file? What is the typical timeline?
EEOC Phone
1-800-669-4000
File Online
publicportal.eeoc.govFind Local Office
eeoc.gov/field-officeHow to File
Detailed guide
Find Your State
State agencies & filing deadlines
Many states offer stronger protections than federal law. You can often file with both EEOC and your state agency simultaneously.
Key states — what makes them stronger
| State | Deadline | Key advantage |
|---|---|---|
| California | 3 years (CRD) | Strongest victim protections. Almost no cap on emotional distress damages. |
| New York | 3 years (NYSDHR) | "Severe or pervasive" standard for harassment eliminated — easier to win. |
| New Jersey | 2 years (NJ LAD) | Punitive damages for retaliation among the strongest in the country. |
| Texas / Florida | 300 days (EEOC) | State agencies offer limited additional protection. Prioritize fast EEOC filing and early attorney engagement. |
All states directory
When Needed
Finding an attorney
Don't let cost stop you. Most employment discrimination attorneys offer free consultations and work on contingency — they only get paid if you win.
Right to Sue letter from EEOC? You have 90 days to file in federal court. Contact an attorney immediately.
- Find specialists at nela.org — click "Find a Lawyer," enter State, City, and Practice Areas: Sexual Harassment, Discrimination, Wrongful Termination.
- lawhelp.org — connects you with local legal aid by zip code. Primarily helps with document preparation and referrals; income limits apply.
- Ask people who went through a similar experience for referrals. Word of mouth beats any directory.
- Trust your gut. If an attorney seems disinterested — find someone else. You need a lawyer who gives a damn about your case.
- NJ residents: NJ State Bar Referral — 1-800-792-8315
Questions to ask
- Do you think I have a viable case?
- Can we work on contingency?
- What are my deadlines — federal and state?
- Have you handled similar cases? What were the outcomes?
- What do I need to do — and not do — from this point forward?
Attorney inquiry email template
Subject: Inquiry: [Your Name] vs. [Company] — [e.g. Sexual Harassment & Retaliation]
Dear [Attorney Name],
I am seeking legal representation regarding [Sexual Harassment / Discrimination / Retaliation] at [Company Name] in [City, State].
Key facts:
• Employment status: [Current employee / Terminated on (date)]
• The incident: [One sentence summary]
• Evidence: I have a detailed incident log, saved emails, and [other evidence]
• Current stage: [Haven't filed with EEOC yet / Right to Sue letter expiring in 60 days]
I would appreciate a brief consultation at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
[Phone Number]
For You
Taking care of yourself
To fight, you have to survive. To survive, you have to take care of yourself. This is not optional.
- This is not your fault. Shame belongs to the person who did this — not to you.
- Look for people who can truly listen and support you. If someone says "it's common," "everyone goes through that," or "maybe it was your fault" — distance yourself. People who don't support you will make you doubt yourself. You cannot afford that.
Therapy & mental health
- If fired or forced out, see a therapist and get formal documentation. Ask if they would testify on your behalf if needed.
- EAP counselors are paid by your company — be cautious about what you share if you anticipate legal action.
SAMHSA — free, anonymous
- SAMHSA is a federal agency, completely separate from your employer. They do not ask for your name or employer. Nothing is reported to anyone. Call 1-800-662-4357, 24/7, free.
988 — not just for emergencies
- Call or text 988 when overwhelmed, panicked, or just needing to talk. You can say: "I'm going through an extremely stressful work situation and I'm not coping well." That is enough.
- Calls are confidential. Nothing is reported to your employer.
Sleep, food, and your body
- Sleep: Write worries down before bed. Don't lie awake more than 20 minutes — get up, do something quiet, return when sleepy.
- Food: Aim for regular eating on a schedule. Small meals stabilize mood even when nothing else feels stable.
- Movement: A 15-minute walk outside can interrupt anxious spirals.
- Alcohol: It may feel like relief tonight and make tomorrow harder. Be honest with yourself.
Crisis Line
988
SAMHSA (anonymous)
1-800-662-4357
Affordable therapy
openpathcollective.orgLegal aid
lawhelp.org
Daily Practice
Your daily symptom & wellness journal
Keep this journal every day. It documents the real impact of what is happening to you — legally, medically, and personally.
Detailed daily notes carry significant weight with attorneys and therapists. Be specific. Be honest.
Today's Entry
Symptoms today:
Depression or low mood
Anxiety or worry
Panic attacks
PTSD symptoms
Trouble sleeping
Loss of appetite
Eating more than usual
Increased alcohol/substance use
Weight change
Crying more than usual
Fear of men / women
Avoiding going outside
Irritability
Persistent fatigue
Difficulty concentrating
Physical symptoms
This guide provides general educational information only. It does not constitute legal advice. Laws vary by jurisdiction and change over time. Consult with an attorney licensed in your state for guidance on your specific situation.
Survivor's Shield — Your Rights · Your Record · Your Protection